Woke up this morning with a feeling in my gut. The opposite of disgust, A feeling I ain't feeling much. Roll over, look at the clock, time to get up. As I'm puttin on my socks, lose my balance, start stumblin Stub my toe on the bookshelf, I start mumblin Under my breath, "Stupid motherfucker." It's kinda chilly and I'll admit I wanna get back under covers, But I can't. Nah I can't. Cause, yo, This is my life, I won’t let it get the best of me They say I don’t got it, but I know I have the recipe Tryna move forward, but this life keeps on testin’ me And folks don’t take me serious, like I’m a precious baby, please I feel better than I have in a long while Felt some type of way, told my fam, made my mom smile Picked the board back up, still got this shit all down And now my pen’s back to paper, like, yea what now? If you can’t tell or can’t hear it in my voice I am so fucking happy, like I finally got a choice I hoisted my spirits, now I’m back spittin’ lyrics And if you really knew me you would prolly know that this is A very big deal ‘cause I’ve been through hell A depressive adolescent, yea, I’ve been through hell I had to fight through poverty, yea, I’ve been through hell A broken, torn family, fuck, I’ve been through hell I almost took my own life, but I came out swell Took my own life, but I came out, well… I guess we’ll address that at a later date Cause today, yo, here is what I came to say: I came to say nothing new At least, from point of view This music saved my life, I bet it did yours, too Cause we all have moments where we struggle with that darkness Only difference is the severity of our hardships know you have a choice: be a monster, become heartless Or do what I did and just keep pushing it regardless The “it” in this sense is your life, keep living it It may not get better, you won’t know until you finish it Ha! You won’t know until you finish it And that’s the sad truth, but we all know life’s a bitch gotta find humor in the irony of shit And drown yourself in the art that you’re passionate with Passionate about, mine are books and music And due to these things, I am an empathetic human Like a sponge, I absorbed all the stories, and I used ‘em To shape my personality into someone who was cool wit Everything and everyone, minus all the ignorant Racists and rapists, misogynistic hypocrites Homophobes and others who hate people for their differences Man, this a sad world we livin’ in, isn’t it? Yea, honestly it’s a bit ridiculous Could’ve made a thousand songs dedicated to our politics I’m tryna get off that, so all I’m gonna say is this: No name drop, you-know-who can fuckin’ suck a dick Anyway, switch lanes, time for me to move on So much to love, why waste energy on a moron? So much to praise. Plus, I’m tryna keep the vibe strong Music is amazing, I feel lifted when the song’s on Yea, this has been a great discussion It’s important to note this was just an introduction If this your first exposure, I really hope that you’re crushin’ The conversation was great, but it wasn’t real, was it? It all happened in my mind as I went about my day This happens all the time, life continues all the same Get up for work, do my job, then I deal with school Come home, do chores, then I’ll prolly cook a little food Get ready for bed, go to sleep, repeat the process No glamour in my life, but I’m startin’ to see progress The only thing connecting all these tedious events Is the music playing in my ears, relieving me of stress When I mention goods vibes, I’m talking ‘bout good records That something so dope you just have to go get seconds It’s Sandpeople one moment, the next I’m on Descendents Now it’s time for some Biggie. You know what? Fuck it, I want Zeppelin It’s hard not to love it, whether it’s new or its old Cause age don’t make a difference, it’ll never decompose Age don’t make a difference, music always fuels the soul Age don’t make a difference, music’ll always be my home I’ma run that back It’s hard not to love it, whether it’s new or its old Cause age don’t make a difference, it’ll never decompose Age don’t make a difference, music always fuels the soul Age don’t make a difference, music’ll always be my home

People love life and I question their reality Cause mine’s suffocating ‘till I really find it hard to breathe I stay progressing through mine, isolated, silently As I wait for sleep’s embrace, ‘cause I’d rather live up in my dreams What time is it? Eight PM, what to do? Should I get ready for bed? I’ve gotta be up in a few See movement outside, it captures my attention I split open the blinds just to peek for a second The sight I see, I swear it nearly takes my breath away My throat feels constricted by a lump that takes up too much space Jet down the stairs, taking six at a time Nearly bust open my face, tears swelling in my eyes Slide across the floor then I throw open the door She was walking towards the porch Now my sentence cut short She runs into my arms and wraps her limbs around my body Sensory overload; now my head is getting kind of foggy I feel her skin on my skin I feel her breath on my neck I feel her hair on my chin Then I start the questions: “What’s going on? Tell me, are you okay?” These questions get repeated as we’re held in this embrace People love life and I question their reality Cause mine’s suffocating ‘till I really find it hard to breathe I stay progressing through mine, isolated, silently As I wait for sleep’s embrace, ‘cause I’d rather live up in my dreams “What’s going on? Tell me, are you okay?” These questions get repeated as we’re held in this embrace She grabs me by the face, looks me dead in my eyes And says, “I am okay. Don’t worry. I am fine.” Well what… the fuck is goin’ on? I’m bugging out After all this, I can’t believe that she’s in my house I can’t stop staring at her gorgeous lips, her pretty mouth I hear her voice in my ears and I know it’s her without a doubt Plus, the little imperfection in her two front teeth? And the way her glasses sit contently on her cheeks My God, she’s really just as beautiful as last time I can’t believe she’s here, so you know I have to ask why Carry her all through the house, “Had to see you,” her response “Never told you my address” “Got the info from your mom” After getting confirmation, bring her to my room Sat her on my bed and that’s when I came to People love life and I question their reality Cause mine’s suffocating ‘till I really find it hard to breathe I stay progressing through mine, isolated, silently As I wait for sleep’s embrace, ‘cause I’d rather live up in my dreams

I feel my eyes slowly open as I’m waking up Reality hasn’t registered, don’t know that was fake as fuck It’s pitch black, takes a sec for me to come to A few more before I know I’m alone in this icy room A smile creeps across my face as I remember The previous night and how we are in this room together Before long, the smile fades, left with a blank stare As I reach across my bed for somebody who simply ain’t there In that instant, feel my world crumble beneath me I can’t believe it, refuse to accept that I was dreaming I feel it coming back, the heartbroken panic attacks I feel that precious organ shatter into little shards of glass ‘Cause she was right here Damnit, she was right here! I held her in my arms and heard her voice inside my damn ears! Can still feel her breath on the side of my neck Can still feel her arms around it, too, her body pressed against my chest Remember every little detail in these quiet moments Tears stained these sheets, the clearest sign I am broken Thought I was over her, the pain says differently It’s been too long, I know I shouldn’t even let this get to me Feeling like I’m Trent Reznor in this Downward Spiral This Pretty Hate Machine left me Broken and Fragile I’m Mr. Self Destruct with a Wish inside my head I was lost to a Terrible Lie and That’s What I Get That’s What I Get That’s What I Get That’s What I… I was lost to a Terrible Lie and That’s What I Get This is too much to take, the lies that my mind creates My one true desire is given and then taken away And this is every night, not an uncommon occurrence I’m in love in my dreams and in the mornin’ I am broken Should I talk it out? Prolly not, who would understand? Tried that before, they couldn’t comprehend what I was sayin’ silence is oppressive, need some music with a message Julien Baker’s Sprained Ankle—girl, sing to me a second I wanna off myself, I’m unloved, talk me off the edge I swear, the smallest little breeze enough to send me to my death I’ve said it for years, I’ve been longing for the sweet escape Every day I’m hoping that I’ll get to feel that cold embrace Yea, the reaper and I—we’ve been flirting for a lil while He watches from the sideline as I’m struggling to hold it down First a knife to the neck, interrupted by a text Then a shot of whatever, couldn’t stand the taste or the stench No, my pain’s not stemming from just one woman My pain’s deep-rooted, suffocating, and it’s not improving I’ve deep-throated the barrel way too many times, I’ve lost count Think it’s time to get to work, should prolly hit the road now Feeling like I’m Trent Reznor in this Downward Spiral This Pretty Hate Machine left me Broken and Fragile I’m Mr. Self Destruct with a Wish inside my head I was lost to a Terrible Lie and That’s What I Get That’s What I Get That’s What I Get That’s What I… I was lost to a Terrible Lie and That’s What I Get